stupid weather

i dont really know what i want..but thats nothing new..i need to stop guessing at stuff when its not a guess..i want to add i guess to everything so it makes it seems like im not making a definite choice on anything..when i know what i want to say and how i want it to be..but still adding i guess to it makes it seem like i dont have the slightest idea whats going on..rambling about nothing as usual..cant decide what i want to do..yvonne isnt here and im pretty sure she wasnt here yesterday..her car is here but she isnt...shouldnt be surprised i guess..i could call her and just ask but im not her mom and its not my business where shes at anyway..so no idea what ill do with myself this weekend..gotta go to the post office and dropping by the hospital for a little while tomorrow..but thats about all i have to do...didnt do a grand job parking and the car cut off on me twice but my fault for slowing down so much in the parking lots...work was alright i guess..quiet and busy..spent a lot of time on the peds floor just hanging out..did my work and then some helping out other ppl..a reg friday without anyone really watching me..emailed jenny and thought i would end up crying..wasnt even a big deal..just writing about whats going on and i almost wanted to trash the email because it made me want to cry..i should grow up and stop complaining so much..better than that i should put some emotion back into something..im feeling dead.. but im still breathing so i know im not dead but the feeling is hard to deal with...i have nothing to do ..i feel so much better getting insurance policies in the mail from the school..i swear they think im ognna die the day after i graduate or something..starting to creep me out...was thinking of other stuff to write but i dont really care anymore right this minute..think ill go and waste the night until i can go to sleep