nothing

so sad right this minute..no idea what i want to do..i was just sitting there thinking how much i suck and how much i wanted to get away..how much i have no where i want to go..im afraid that if i juts started driving i wouldnt come back..i just want to hurt..more than i already do..im afraid of what ill do..and i hate knowing that nothing i do is permenant..it all eventually gets better and goes away and stops hurting...i was thinking again to how much it hurt when i wasted time cutting words into my arms. i dont know what i want..and im going back and forth between everything and cant up with a definite answer for anything..i get suck worrying about everything and then cant do anything..how am i going to keep myself busy for the next couple weeks with nothing to do..keep trying to cry and keep forcing myself not too..i worry ill go to work tomorrow and wed and juts spend all of my time crying because i dont want to leave..everything is confusing..everything hurts..and i dont want to be around anyone at all