worried

i really dont think relaxing is in my personal dictionary or something..ive been thinking of a million things and im just really bored right now..im gonna have to stop going to bed early but i am about to go to bed..i looked up apartments in asheville tonight and started worrying about if im making the right decisons about moving so far away..even if i really want to go back maybe i shouldnt..maybe i should stay here and not have to worry about moving..but that would be taking the easy way out..its not fair ..i do want to leave but maybe all the moving is becoming a bit overwhelming and worrying about what to do with dusti..doesnt really matter if i leave her with yvonne or mommy cas ill end up still paying for all of her stuff she just wont be with me..i really want to ask linda if i can keep her in the swamp and since she is so scared of other people i know she wont get out..but that would be a last option..the pet fees are so expensive too..and i know its better to just take that out of the picture for now if i can leave her here but i worry all the same...i worry about changing states...i dont know what im doing...being completely realistic about all of it i know ill have to leave dusti here if i want to keep her..i know ill have to stop therapy too..i could drive back but i dont trust my car enough to do it..maybe if it gets worked on over christmas it will be ok but for now i have to start thinking about stopping therapy after new years..i have to start packing and figure out what im really taking with me...i cant take all of it but i need to find out if ill have to put all of it in storage until i do find a place..and then comes the task of figuring out where i want it to go..more sense taking it to rocky point but its a pain in the butt moving it from here to there when there are prolly storage places in greenville i could use...im thinking im making a lot of stupid choices and thats why i shouldnt be trusted to decide on anything..i dont know the firist thing about looking for a doc..i dont want to have to look for one and not having insurance really puts a stop to most of it..i know all the mental health stuff changed in nc but i dont know what its like in other states...will i have to get a new license and plates and things for living in sc? but if im back and forth into nc anyway maybe i wont have too right now...i dont know what im going to do about any of it