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i dont know why im so sad all of a sudden..i dont want to be around anyone right this minute which makes it hard since yvonne came in like 10 mins ago and has been in and out of my room..and i do feel kinda bad for not being more excited i guess..but shes been gone since fridaay and i shouldnt have to be excited or happy if i dont want to be ..but still it makes me feel like im being so very mean and selfish for no reason...and it just kinda started and i dont know why..driving home in the rain really seriously creeped me out and i was ready to cry before i left the hospital..i seriously asked if i could spend the night to save myself from driving..janet told me to take the bus if i wasnt comfortable driving..but i drove and i sat in the car for about 10 mins before i even started driving anywhere..i went back and forth between calling someone to talk to but duh me i didnt have anyone to call..and i was just freaking myself out big time..it was really scary driving home because i didnt feel like i could see very well and i did make it home fine..took a little longer and i did drive slower and be more careful but still..maybe my nerves are just rattled a bit more than i realized..still want to cry and what not..and that is changing to wanting to cut to stop it and that goes to doing something to stay busy..i dont know what i want to do..im worried the parking lot will flood and i wont be able to go to work tomorrow, im worrying im starting to screw things up when i dont mean too and everything will just keep falling apart around me..