finding old stuff

i dont know what made me go and look at healthboards again...i havent been there for almost a year..and maybe havent posted for longer than that ..i dont know why i sotpped going but i did...i think the people i was used to stopped writing and then we just kinda all lost touch... i remember when they started the s/i board on healthboards..i was there and i lived for that board because i didnt feel so bad for everything because i wasnt alone there..its werid that it doesnt feel like that anymore..there are to many new people..and i think it got to the point that for a while all anyone wanted to know was how to get rid of scars and itwas annoying...but i looked at the board posts like from three/four years ago and i really do miss all of the people who were on the baords then..i only talk to one of the girls from then and everyone else i have no idea what happened to them...looking at what i wrote then and what i do now..its kinda the same but its different too...ive calmed down a lot more than i thought i did..i dont cut every day anymore..i burn now though..but still not everyday...maybe im just better at controlling it ..i dont know..i dont see how im really different but other people do and it doesnt make sense..how come i cant see it and know that im different..it was hard going back and looking because it seems like it was so long ago... maybe i have grown up some...but if im doing the same things then maybe i havent? or maybe this is one of those things im just looking way to deeply into..suddenly im just feeling really lonely and alone at the same time..its hard doing this when its so easy to just stop talking to people for whatever reason and then one day like 3 years later remembering them but having no way to talk to them...sometimes the internet is not all its cracked up to be..


old quotes i found on the boards..most from me though


'im not really me unless im pretending to be someone else'

This isnt a perfect world, people do get hurt.. you smile when you feel like crying.. you act like your okay when your falling apart inside.. and you let it go..

"Smiling is only a symptom of happiness and can be faked. Do not assume that everybody who smiles is happy."

When will people understand that words can cut as sharply as any blade, and that those cuts leave scars upon our souls."

"...to be abnormal is to be detested."