i am trying not to fall into the trap of depression...i really am..but it is hard..as i sit here and it is monday and i am doing nothing...im not working..im not doing anything productive i guess...and it is making me feel useless....so very useless...things are piling up around me and im getting stuck in all of the worrying and confusion about what to do..what i will be able to do..where i will go if it comes to that...im trying hard to find a job..that is the first delima. .. the second delima is finding a place to live that i can afford...the third delima is actually making it to the first and second delima outcomes in one piece ... i want to give up..throw a tantrum...just a bit down..and trying to deal with the world i guess ... i dont know yet...
i got my insurance stuff in the mail..and well while its nice having it..im really not sure if it is going to be helpful...like with meds and stuff.i think they will be more expensive with the insurance..ugh..its all frustrating...
i was trying to talk to mommy this morning and she wasnt listening to me..and that just made me upset....and maybe it was stupid to get so upset over it..but i did..and i guess i need to figure out what im going to do..and that is what it keeps coming back too...finding out what i am going to do...but job is first...the rest will have to come after that...
im just thinking to much...and have a headache..and am feeling sorry for myself...
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