really emotional....

i dont know why but for the past week or so ive been really just emotional...i thought that it was because of the incredibly bad sessions on tuesday..and i was just upset...but in the days since then..i am still feeling really on edge i guess...watching tv has me in tears and im really fighting the urge to have a breakdown right now...and yesterday at work i was feeling upset enough to ask for a hug from a coworker...and i have to fight to not react at work...because my need to be defensive is major ...and its like if im not being 'talked' to by the higher ups then i guess im doing alright with work..even though ive now been hit and restrained kids..protected kids..had my hair pulled..and yeah...no i havent been hurt..and i feel like a baby for even complaining when i know that other staff has been hit and worse..but i dont like being hit and having a hard time controlling my actions will get me in trouble ..im having more trouble remembering that its not about me....i really am having trouble with understanding that its not about me...that its important for me not to take it personally...am i stupid for having a job that is an active trigger for me ???  im just not real sure right now what is the driving force behind how i am feeling right now...i really dont ....