things are really hard still..and crap juts writing that has me feeling as if i want to cry... i havent cried in a while and i think the energy to not cry is slowly cracking apart...i dont know..i feel so down and depressed..and i know things will get better but the waiting and trying and staying positive just takes a toll by itsself...i mean im living in a hotel..my stuff is in storage..my car can be taken at any moment..and i really dont know how i am even managing..because once again im struggling to just get through the day...no money for anything and paying the hotel and pet fee today took all i had..and that is depressing all by itsself..i get a meal a day..when im working and today im just trying to figure out what i can even eat before i go to work...i dont mean to be so depressing..but my life right now is not something that i am able to see the light at the end of the tunnel with...im just feeling stressed out and worried about everything...
my body hurts a lot lately..physical pains or something..mostly my legs and back...and my feet...i need something for my shoes..they are making my feet hurt majorly..
i miss noa. nia sent me pictures yesterday..and ive been looking at them and she is getting so big ... i wish i could just go and live there but i cant...time wise it just doesnt work.and the work commute would be awful! but im just missing her..
and since ive now slept all morning and into the afternoon..i have to wake up for work..darn...guess ill write tomorrow
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