once again i am left asking myself how things have gotten to this point...but i know how...i know what has happened..i know why it has happened..and still im at the mercy of my job because i dont have the money...and im feeling stuck...so very stuck...and a lot of other negative stuff..just things keep being hard and i keep messing up and this is where i am at..and i hate it..i really really hate it...im trying not to complain and so i keep most of it all to myself ... because there is no point...because i guess my only option at the moment is somehow hurting myself to the max before mommy has the chance to get to me...and she will..and she will be beyond pissed off and i dont know...im facing losing my car...and im frustrated and scared about all of it...i spend my days worrying about money..about where im going to live..how im going to take care of taji and bounce...just worrying about everything..there really isnt much room for anything else..
i want to cry...because i am going to lose my life lines...i listed my laptop last night on craigslist and this morning i have emails asking for more information...i almost hoped no one would want it...i really hoped that...but if i do get a legit buyer..i guess my computer and kindle will be moving on...and i dont know what in the hell i will do without them...
and this is depressing and i need to stop writing ...
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