Sunday, June 22, 2014

freaked

im looking at the day and i am worried for myself...im freaking out and its just getting worse...maybe i should go ahead and take the dang meds and maybe that will help quiet my thoughts....everything is centered around my doc appt tomorrow..and the urge to just act out is massive right now..and i say act out because that is what it is..words fail me..but if i do something phsical then that is glaringly obvious that something is wrong...and i dont know how to explain how afraid i am...i cant stop thinking about the last visit and how much it hurt..and that i couldnt do anything to make it stop...and im going back tomorrow..what in the hell is wrong with me?  i thought you are supposed to not do things that hurt you..

i think ill hide today.

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