so so stupid

i really am very stupid ....

all this time i was holding on to the fact that i would be getting a check...a small one but a check....after waiting and being given the run around for almost three weeks..and not being able to get up with the office person...i finally get her today..only to find out that i am not actually getting a check..that it was just a stub for the last check that i got last month.... i just want to cry right now..i am crying ..because i really truly have to be the stupidest person alive to really think that it would work out after all this time...stupid me for forgetting and being so hopeful for absolutely nothing ..i think it will be safer to just sleep today...i cant do anything productive and since my thinking has hit an all time low..sleep may be the best option is guess...because desperation leads to very not so good things...not that i really care right this minute...