needing care and reassurance ...

between work last night ..and writing an email today..i am thinking about how i relate to others that i work with and am around a lot of the time... i try hard to be adult and do what i need to do..and i think that sometimes i just kind of draw people to me who somehow pick up on my need for love and care and attention...and i may not outwardly be asking for it..but some how it is picked up on...yesterday i saw a handful of other counselors that i have already worked with in the past week...and one hugged me and asked how i was...and one checked in with me as i was leaving and again asked me how i was...two people that i do not know well at all..but they are both older women...and somehow without me asking for it..they have picked up on something..and im never really sure what it is...a lot of the time when i am working with coworkers on a regular basis and what not..i always end up..well most of the time i end up with people who feel the need to protect me..or look out for me...im thinking in particular of jim becasue we spent so much time together and working together and what not at talisman...he looked out for me..stood up for me..and maybe it is because im quiet...and until im comfortable i am a bit more hesitant to speak out and stuff...but i am getting used to this job..and yes in two weeks i have already pinpointed that the kids think they can get over on me...but what they dont know is that i am watching every single thing they are doing ... even if i am not looking directly at them i can see when they are passing notes..i hear their comments, and cursing and plotting...i see all of it...and even if i dont say anything..im not keeping the information from other staff..but they will learn...and i will stand up for myself ... but i really dont want to strangle one in particular...ugh...patience is a good thing..but this girl is wearing my patience thin...ugh