painful day

mommy nots here yet...i stressed thinking she was on the way to come this morning and i was just you know sitting on my bed petting dusti for like half an hour..didnt clean up anyhting..havent cleaned up anything still..didnt take a nap either and now i am tired..still have a headache..havent taken vitamins for two days now i think...ate lunch and wanted to purge and tried but it didnt work out..hurt to much and just ended up crying in a way...my eyes just watered to the point of seriously thinking i was going to cry..i guess i did in a way but it wasnt real crying...now im getting really sore..my bones hurt..my bones prolly hate me too...took a bubble bath/shower this morning..relaxed for a little while..thought about whats the pros and cons of letting it be known that i want to die..more so who would i tell anyway..right now mommy will be on the way in a couple hours im guessing and no im not planning on doing anything but taking a nap...just the thoughts are there and refuse to go away...i did my hair and had a little to much fun cutting it..really i just trimmed it but mommy wont be happy..i know it shorter since i did it but im not really sure anyone else will notice..mommy will though and ill juts get yelled at for cutting my hair..the same way i got yelled at when she thought i dyed my hair and i hadnt...i dont know whats making my hair look lighter but i havent done anything new to it...i should get up but i dont feel like it..theres nothing on tv to watch and i should go check the mail and see if my new movie is here...i watched bambi 2 last night..it was cute... i think ill go play a game or something for a while..