so went to work and did ok...got seriously down by like 2 and just wanted to go home..i left at 4 and took a million buses home but got here fine if not just more tired..now im just watching americas next top model which has since gone off...and now im bored...considering going to bed soon ..after i clean dusti's litter box ..i still cant figure out how the little bug kicked litter across the abthroom..good grief she keeps me busy..
ive decided that there is something thats just not right about wishing someone else would die..its wrong and mean and evil and i should be shot for thinking it in the first place...i dont know why i did it anyway..ok so i do but its just still wrong..it doesnt matter if i keep wishing i would die but good grief no doing it other people..besides i should know by now that doing that and having something actually happen would kill me literally..the guilt would eat me alive..today would have been good eating wise i guess had i not gotten i dont know and binged without purging..it was to the point of having a dizzy headache so i got home and ate leftovers and what not..i couldnt figure out what i wanted in the first place and so i just keep looking for something i did want..not really caring what i ate...but since yvonne was home i couldnt purge either not that i really wanted to...so tomorrow ill be really really good and make up for it and just have a snack or something before i get home..but still no carrying money with me because ill spend it and i cant..not even for food so its easier to just eat what i have and leave it alone...i was making lists today at work when i wasnt paying attention to what i was doing and it was just really for reminding me what i would have to pay for next month and stuff i needed for the rest of this month and it was really depressing and im sick of writing ..im running out of stuff to write
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