today

"You can't be normal and alive at the same time." -- Lobão

i lost all the quotes i had a while ago and that really made me sad because i spent forever putting them together...but now since i have to look again im finding a lot of mew and interesting ones. today was fun when i wasnt being completely introspective..yvonne helped me put the elliptical together today and i can safely say it is now in one piece and so are we cas at one point yvpnne was ready to curse up a storm entirely my fault for causing it and then when one of the pedals fell off hmm again my fault but she fixed it and i promised to never again try to put anything together without professional help! but still it was fun if not long and incredibly time consuming..then we went to get me dinner and boxes and other random stuff at various places down the street and ended up going out again with alexis to dinner which was a waste for me because i had just eaten and then i ddidnt like what i ordered and sent it back and pretty much just paid for a drink...but it was a really good drink lol..and we went to the store and i got a little baby piglet nightlight and a baby eeyore pillowcase...and they are so so cute..and thinking of that i need to look for the care bear yvonne hid from me..go figure its somewhere in my room and i cant find it! even so now my room is clean again and ill still have to wake up early tomorrow to get stuff cleaned for mommy coming..ugh i have been trying to not stress about it but now that its like only a few hours away every single thing i can think of that is wrong with me is just glaring at me in neon colors...i just keep thinking she will tell me there is something else i need to change or something i need to do better ..if nothing else i have a reason to practice calming my head before it gets out of hand...hmm oh yea at the resturant we talked about yvonne and my futuristic bf and so she has decided that she has to work on my self esteem...my fault really for telling her i didnt consider myself smart or anything..and im really hoping she will forget very very vcery soon...im blaming myself for a lot of stuff today..as in outright write it down blame and not juts yelling in my head like i normally do...oh well time for bed