depressing class

the more interesting my health class gets the more depressing it gets too..and we had a speaker today a guy living with aids and he was a good speaker and he got his point across..good grief he got it across and yea i so know im not doing anything that would put myself at risk and yet im still scared i will get this virus or some other life threatening disease and then ill die..its like ok so im never touching anyone and im never doing anything and ugh i think im just overly paranoid..and every week in class just makes me more worried i will get something..i leave myself open to infections enough now i dont really need or want anyone else giving me anything..so im in class listening to this guy talk about his mistakes and it was hard listening to it because he didnt come right out and say you know by the way i have aids..no it was talk for a while, ask us to questions and then ask how it is he would now..by then i was wondering but i wasnt sure and not to be a complete spazz but he looked so normal and healthy and not what ever image i happen to have of someone with hiv or aids..it was surprising in a lot of ways because he went through a lot and hes dealing with what he has to and of course acceptance managed to come up and it was just a depressing talk even though things worked out for him..and so i came home and so told yvonne to be safe because well just because

i didnt skip any classes today..even when most of the class left early in bio.i stuck it out because getting the notes off line just wouldnt help me because i wouldnt even read them..i need to write them down and so ill be stuck in class every time not leaving early..practice bored me..policy turned out better than i was expecting it too..i got my paper back today and i was so convinced i had done horribly on it and i was ready to just you know cry in class or something equally weird and i ended up getting 9 out 10 points..so much better than i was hoping for because by the time i even turned it in i was just hoping to get higher than a 5..and we got out early in health depressing class or not..and then i went to the store with shameeka and that was fun and i got rent and now im watching it..although im pretty sure it wont make me feel much better..hello movie on aids here..talk about bad choice of movies but i like it all the same and i wouldnt have been able to buy it without watching it and now ill juts stay up..and i found out my phone got here today and its at the office so im going to try and get it tomorrow before i have to head over to hike around the hospital..i really want it because my phone now i just want to throw out the window..ive wanted to throw it at the wall a lot too just because i dont want it or like it and its just an argument magnent or something...so ill get that tomorrow and so how i managed to get all my work caught up that has been due lately and i havent done it..even did good on my grade replacement thing..talked to henry and as usual that was fun and dusti is well being dusti..and im going back and forth so i guess im done for the night