finished my book

since im just laying here trying to get my head to stop hurting i figured i would write here to stay just a little bit busy..the puppy is laying on my legs and dusti is prolly wondering over the house because the puppy is laying on my legs and my door is open..but anyway nothing much to talk about..wasted most of yesterday doing god knows what and today i cleaned up a little bit and i cant decide if i want to tackle making lunch or not right now..maybe in a little while i guess but i finished my book last night..a million little pieces and lies or not it was a really good book, the ending was sad and someways and good in other ways but still the whole book just really made me think about life in general..like how addictions can really screw a person up..and how technically speaking they never really go away.. for some reason i always thought that if you went to treatment and stopped then you were considered 'cured' but it doesnt work like that..its just this ongoing battle between right and wrong in a way and it turns into how strong can you be to get through it..one one level it seems like such a waste to work so hard at trying to overcome something just to turn around and learn that it will just always being the background wanting for the chance to jump at you..but then its like you are constantly proving you can beat it and stay sober or whatever the addiction happens to be..maybe its better knowing and maybe its not...so what makes an addiction an addiction..is it a habit that got out of control or something thats not technically good for you that has turned into a need, something you cant live withoout and see no way of giving it up? or it could be as simple as wanting something regardless of the consequences..reading that made me so glad i never tried drugs ..ok that and the requeim for a dream movie that scared me away from drugs for my life..it was like watching people at there worse and then watching it go a step farther..its like being trapped in something you cant get out of..and if with help it doesnt go away things cant look that bright..maybe it will be a test of character and strength for the ppl who do manage to make it through..maybe they found what it takes it make it and keep making it because they know how bad it can get...or maybe in just being a spazz and thinking way to indepth about it..