happy times

so today i had my interview and right up until i had to go there i was really really scared and working hard at not giving in to cutting but i made it somehow..the part i dont get is i wanted to cut when i was feelign completely ok i dont know...anyway yvonne came and waited with me for my interview and danced in the hallway until i was smiling..and the interview wasnt bad at all..like halfway through i started getting really scared and my mind started drifting off but i worked on concentrating and made it without drifting to bad...and she said i looked nice..and everyone wished me good luck and jenny wrote me and janet and kenny told me good luck...mommy forgot thhough..she didnt call at all and i waited and waited and waited and nothing..oh well i dont care....so after that i was fine, i wasnt worried about anything anymore and my mood improved a heck of a lot in like 30 mins...and then for no reason at all once i got home i started getting sad again. and i wanted to just sleep or cut or something and it was weird so i just played games online and watched tv until i was bored enough to consider doing homework and then yvonne came home...and i asked her to go walk with me to get quiznos and she did and it was to late for quiznos so we decided to go get chinese and we did that and then i wanted to go to the grocery store but yvonne wanted to go look at the cards in cvs first...and we went and played in cvs and i put deodorant up her nose and yvonne got coloring books because i was coloring in her room the other night and she didnt care much for my care bear coloring book at all lol..so then we went and finished dinner and then we ate dinner and went and played in the grocery store..and i got a disney princess coloring book and yvonne bought me a jackjack attack book! i made her write in it but i love my little book now and it made me really happy and now we are coloring and watching the lion king for my sake :)