feeling rather sad today. i dont know why though..maybe its just to many late nights and then not being able to sleep later than 7 because i keep getting up at 7. and im tired and not feeling good atall.
ended up babysitting yesterday .. i hadnt planned on going over there but then i got a message saying that he needed me cas he needed a friend and so i went and hung out with him..and we went to lunch and to a movie..and then i just hung out at there house for the night after i wasnt babysitting anymore..we watched madagascar 2..it was pretty funny.. i think mommy was pretty mad at me for staying over there..but what am i going to do at home thats so thrilling ? all i do here is stay on the computer in my room anyway..but it was just one of those conversations where she didnt really say what she wanted to but i know she was mad..also frustrates me a lot dealing with money with her..why does she insist on asking how much i get paid if it has nothing to do with her? what is so very important that she has to know?
its not fair and then like yesterday when the kids i babysits mom asked me about my job and how it was going and then mentions that maybe i should just keep that job and keep babysitting and i cant argue with that because with babysitting i make all my spending money and stuff..and it keeps me going..but then just the huge desire not to be here is still there and im back to not knowing what to do..i cant stick to one idea at all..and it is really frustrating and disheartening .. part wants to stay. part wants to go. part wants to die ok ignore that part
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