soooo getting away

well its finally all said and done well kinda since im leaving tomorrow whether anyone has anything to say about it or not..ill be gone..and i really think im more excited about my random day at the beach than anything else. and im even more of a dork for thinking that this is the first trip in forever that ive been on alone..doesnt count that im going to visit someone..but just ingeneral you know ill have to get myself there, ill have to check in to the hotels and keep myself busy..without having someone else there to tell me what i should or shouldnt do..its so odd .. realizing that im seriously lacking in the social area..i wonder what ive done with my life..ok wel ilook back and cant remember my life..thats fun

but on to another topic..i was thinking about the pictures i took to therapy with me..and i look at them and there is no connection at all to the pictures of when i was younger. i look at them and what to know what was going on and what i was doing before, after, during, but i look at the pictures and there is nothing..no reaction, no happiness, no sadness, no anything, its just a picture thats all..but i look at pictures where i can remember and there is always a reaction..a good one if its a picture i allowed to be taken! but i know what happened, i can look at the picture and smile or talk about what happened..but thats only with older pictures..like the last couple years pictures..anything before that and its like theres no connection at all