yep..it does count..all of it

being away gives me the time to see what life could be like..how every day does not have to be a battle to just get through it all..it doesnt have to be all about just trying to escape away from my thoughts..because even being away from home doesnt stop the sadness but its just more bearable today..but now im stuck thinking about tomorrow and that it will all be over..it will all be back to normal..and it makes it harder to enjoy the time away...because it sucks being able to know how good or okay things can be and then to just turn around and it all goes away..and im back to being not ok and its just not fair and makes me upset..because today has been really good..not counting the spurts of sad feelings..but it has been ok you know..and it just makes me feel i dont know sad or something to know that tomorrow i have to go home..that tomorrow i go back to my life and i dont want to..i want to stay here and i cant stay here either