nothing

breathing is always a good thing..when i get seriously nervous i think i forget to do it and all of sudden i clue in on that im holding my breath and if i dont stop ill pass out or something..so ive been up since before 6..bad dreams..once again someone trying to kill me, really creepy..and now im trying to make sure i have everything i need and all of dustis stuff and everything i might possibly think up to need..i have enough clothes for like 3 people but i always over pack and i never know what i might be doing once i get home so i over pack...trying to get my nerves in order but still i manage to freak out about everything..keep thinking about every possible thing i might be able to get yelled at for so ill be expecting it..same old thing but still i always forget im supposed to expect all of it..so now im half pulling everything out and reassuring someone that im fine..and the small fact that i might not be shouldnt matter as much as hes trying to get me to see..i say it doesnt matter and he disagrees..so yea lie or not im trying to make him feel better and its not working and i hate knowing he will worry.i hate knowing anyone will worry..doesnt help that i might be the only one who still sees home as an ok place if i dont think about it to hard..but then dying looked really great yesterday for reasons i dont know..but since i didnt do anything i guess i got around it..so anyway ive calmed down enough to finish getting stuff done and mommy will be here soon so i better go anyway