dreams

i could really do without another someone is dead set on killing me dream...im starting to think there are infinit ways to die or something but does there have to be a million people trying to kill me everytime i go to sleep... should stop sleeping then but that wouldnt last very long at all..might give it a try though...i dont even know where they are coming from..i havent watched lifetime for a few days so i cant be getting it from that adn that just kinda leaves either my head is just being mean or my head is just being mean...getting back at me for b/p..that would make sense and of course only i could be the one to figure out how it does even if it does sound compltely stupid...so anyway a bit on edge and creeped out yet again...weird thing being i never a ctually die..always wake up before it happens but i guess knowing its coming is just as bad..believing im about to be killed is enough to get me to wake up and not want to sleep ever again

always running but never caught
always searching for something
always threatened but never killed
always lost or hiding

cant explain any of it..dont know what any of it means..dont even know what i keep looking for thats forever getting me half killed..sometimes its random like last night where all i did was walk out of a room and someone pulls a gun on me..talk about random..the other one where someone one was going to burn me alive if given the chance was random too..i wonder if you die in your dream will you never wake up again..ill take the way i slept before..i didnt dream i woke up remembering absolutely nothing and that was good..now i wake up and wonder why i can manage to get half a step closer to dying every night and no idea why..for this the stupid why question dont work..funny its always a guy trying to kill me or stop me from doing anything...the one where this guy is stopping me from going outside worried me some..because there was only one guy in the room anyway and me and some other girl just listening to this person screaming her head off and i couldnt go help..what i was going to do when i got outside i dont exactly know but trying is better than not doing anything and i would have rather tried than listened to the screams..those screams meant one of two things and both options where not good at all...willingly letting someone die dream or not is juts as bad as outright killing them i think..dont know
morid mood for mothers day