unfortunate

so im n ot dead yet..slgihty drugged but not dead..had a headache fore the etter part of a day and finally gave in and took something for it..and now im fighting sleep and not making any sense..maybe if im lucky ill sleep through tomorrow but knowing me ill be up at my usual time..i was going to sleep earlir and kenyetta came by with her baby and her baby is so cute..but it woke me up and then i played sims until i got bored and just kept thinkinag about how much everything sucks right now.i dont know what i want but since yvonnes not here it doesnt matter that much because if i wanted anthing i wouldnt be getting it..sleep tonight and somehow think of a way to not b e around tomorrow becuase i dont want to talk to anyone..sucks im almost out of meds that make me sleep..next would be staying awake but id rather just sleep the next three weeks away and forget about everything..didnt want to cut and all thats left is sleeping but i sill have to wake up tomorrowo and then i dont know nothing to do ..ill just think about everything and make myself feel worse i want to braek something and i have to keep out of the kitchen so i dont break anything..i dont like when im angry because then it takes forever to make it go away again and it sucks because its not the same reaction like hwat goes with being sad..still eventually got around to cnosidering cutting all other ideas werent good enough..could cut but i havent i dont want to not really.i wanted to cry earlier still do kinda i want to get lost somewhere and not come back ever..maybe ill be the second person on saturn..dont remembr if saturn is hot or cold cas i want to go to a cold place..relly cold and then ill walk around in a tshirt and freeze to death before i make it three steps..i cant find my bear anymoreo and i had her and i wan herso i wont get bad dreams and i hope i dont get sick..played the word association game with yvonne yesterday and that game can get depressing awfully fast..im not good the first word kinda things i can do secod or third word.. i think my arm died on me.doesnt really matter sence im forgetting what i want to say..ming is taking up my bed and i want to kick her off but thats to much efort so ill have to share