never assume

'Fortunate are the merciful, who fight without hatred or hate without remorse..'
'speak the truth even if it leads to your death'
'here at the end of the world you are not who you were born but who you were meant to be'

today has been dull but fun and entertaining i eventually..wasted most of the day playing the sims 2 and did a little bit of cleaning and more video games because breaks make the day more interesting..specially if they last for hours at a time..yvonne got home from rehearsals early and we ended up walking to walgreens and the grocery store and out to dinner..and i watched her get frustrated at her sims family she made and didnt know yet how to control..and given for first time players sims is hard to get a handle on..it took me a couple days to get the hang of this one..so it was a bit funny..but i still helped her..and i got her a couple cards because her play opens this week and ill miss opening night so i have to wish her good luck and everything..there cute but i think she will like them..counting money is depressing but i know i wont be able to get narnia when it comes out on tuesday..no matter how much i want to count it i cant come up with extra money right and that royally sucks but once again not the end of the world..and yvonne got me a disney magazine covered in narnia pictures :) and a kitten calendar and a card..she really sees something in me i dont see well i dont believe and thats not the same thing i dont think...we are watching kingdom of heaven now because well the movie has its funny parts and the whole im so marrying orlando bloom and if i have to stalk him yvonne has promised to go to jail with me to keep me company..but the movie is good too of course but there is a benefit in completely drooling over the main actor..and yvonne has given me almost all of her orlando stuff with captions that i have all over my room...and minus the big cut out that scares the heck out of me if im not careful i love all of it..ok im so off subject now..umm i did have a point when i strted i think..oh we got on the subject of cutting tonight a little bit..but it wasnt about me and i really dont think she knows..she was looking through a reader digest and she said she wished she had last months because there was an article on cuttnig and she wanted to read it..she said valerie did it..and since she said she didnt know how to help im guessing she still does it..but i know valerie a little bit like general stuff i guess..she was just here for a week, same as last year and here for yvonnes birthday over the summer and i didnt guess it or assume it or anything because i had no reason too..but yvonne brought it up and i told her i had a boook on it but that it was stupid..i told her i kinda knew a little bit about it but i didnt explain anything...i guess its kinda the same..i dont think valerie would have brought it up if she did question the scars on my arm..but she blamed them on dusti as a lot of people do...i read somewhere that s/i could be dubbed as the cat did it disease and that would mean there were some mean cats running around..and letting dusti take the blame for osmething she didnt do does make me feel guilty..but i dont correct it either..i know where dusti scratching me at and i can tell the difference but ppl see scars and if they know i have cat then the first thing is has your cat been scratching you or the cat scratched you...yvonne saw them before i ever got a cat but i told her i was in a car accident..i told her it gave me a lot of scars..and she hasnt questioned it since..even when i walk around with my wrist band on or when i have razors just laying all over my room when she comes in..right now i have qauze and bandaids all over my floor maybe razors too but she doesnt ask and idont say anything..not many come right out and ask..i wonder why though..im almost certain i would lie about it anyway..until i got my other journal online yvonne wouldnt have even known half the stuff she found out and even that isnt much..just that i caan get a bit depressed at times and the one time i half wrote about it she was worried..serious worried and wrote me this whole list of stuff about why she needs me..i keep a copy of it in my bag..its one of those things i know ill have forever and reading it makes me smile...but i guess it goes the same way..no one would assume i cut myself and gave myself all the scars and burns the same way i dont assume anyone else does it..if nothing else we are incredibly good hiders with all of it...