something is just not in balance...

i am not understanding myself right now..something is truly not in balance ..i can feel it..that something is wrong ..but i dont know how to dscribe it or even how to really talk about it..i am hiding in my silence..because if i dont say anything outloud then no one can ask me any questions..and i am worried that if i continue to feel like this i will cut again..because i do not know how to say what is wrong..i just know something is wrong..something is different..and i dont know how to express it..