stressed out ..but not

today has been interesting i think..

didnt do paperwork this morning --insert whatever curse word you like here-- big mistake but one that i will catch up on tomorrow morning

the interview was ok..lots of questions..i had a hard time looking at the lady but i did talk to her..

t was ok..managed to talk a bit more than usual :-/

and then the meds are giving me side effects already and i have to keep reminding myself that they will pass..and that i just cant stop the meds cas i dont like the side effects..they arent bad bad just annoying...the being sleepiness and then being unable to sleep is one..then today i can add headaches, and dry mouth, and blurred vision, and queasiness to the list... seriously its like im going through the list of all the side effects one by one..ugh..and then driving today for a bit my vision went all screwy..and it wasnt really blurred it was more double and not being able to really focus on things that were to far away..:( that was scary.and made me really nervous..but it didnt happen later when i was driving...i think maybe the added stress of today in general is making the side effects worse..and then not eating enough and being tired in general and then being really hot is making them be more prominent i guess :( im keeping an eye on them and hoping nothing worse happens..and im hoping that ill get to see the pdoc on friday.. but im worried about taking anything for my headache because im not sure if it would cause a reaction.. i wish i could take something to make me sleep or at least stop the massive headache but im afraid to mix anything right now with the lexapro..its so not cool that the meds that are supposed to help me emotionally..make me feel crappy pyhsically ...essh..so im just hoping i will wait it out and not stop them..but really its hard going all day and feeling so tired and out of it ..but at the same time i can tell the mood is lifting a bit and staying pretty level today..maybe its just from the thought that im taking the meds vs the actual meds since its only been a couple days but still..its just a weird different feeling..like something is going on but its neither good or bad yet..if that makes sense .. but otherwise okish today all things considered..and so im stuck waiting it out for now i guess..it does suck royally and its tiring ..

and now i can add lose of appetite to the list...im just going to bed