bothered

im ok really i am..but im just off some how..it is so different having my head be quiet, having my thoughts just kinda drift without any real direction..i cant seem to be anxious or as nervous as i usually am and its bothering me..how can it be bothering me?! i should be happy..i should want this..and now that i have the quietness im not sure i want it anymore :( its to quiet, and still in my head..ive been present the past couple days but not focusing very well..and its different..its not good or bad..its just different..and i miss what i know and what im used to, even if it is all the bad and obsessive thoughts, and worries and stress..im use to that and can get past it i guess..and just kinda going from all to nothing has thrown me big time..and im not sure about it