feeling a little better

m almost feeling normal right now..nothing major going on in my head..and im not feeling horribly sick like the past couple days...the side effects are starting to wear off i hope...yesterday was bad on a unable to eat level because of feeling so queasy...but that feeling isnt there today and im hoping it stays away..so just the normal extra tired so far today..

head is a lot calmer the past few days..the anxiety isnt as strong..the depression isnt as strong either..nia and henry both asked me about a dance show that i normally watch and to see if i was watching it..my response was ..no aladdin is on ..the sad part would be they werent even surprised!! a lot of just laying down and watching cartoons and things when im not at work..

it looks like yvonne will be able to keep dusti for me for a little while..which means i need to stay on top of getting another job if i want to get her back...but she was asking me about it last night and of course i started to panic because i didnt want to let her take dusti but i know its best if dusti gets out of the house for a bit if possible... but now that im looking at her actually going im not sure anymore ... and dusti actually hissed at my brother the other night...i was in the room when it happened and it was like holy cow what just happened..dusti was protecting the door i guess and he was just getting to close is all i can think of because he wasnt even in my room yet...shes still the same with me..but yeah..shes not liking him to much at all lol

mommy confuses me :( she tells me not to eat and then tells me to eat and then i dont know..

yvonnes birthday is today and i was asking her about what she was going to do..and she told me what her plans were and then said that i should come too..and i said no because i dont have the money to drive up there and see her right now..and she told me that she would see if she can come and pick me up and we are going to the beach to see her mom and what not..which i dont mind..but i feel bad making her drive all that time to come and get me you know..but thinking about it over night i realized that i do what to go..i just want to get out of the house for a while completely..if possible...im super worried about money and paying for it and will prolly beg money from my friend while im there ..which in some ways makes me feel horrible because well i should have money but i dont stupid rental is really messing up that..and then just because i know she does a lot of things for me money wise and i dont want her to think i only do stuff with her cas she will pay for me if i cant cover it..but thats just me being stupid..cas she has already told me before that she knows i dont do anything for the money and that she likes to make me happy and get me to smile..so maybe i should stop worrying about it :-/ and find out if i can go..well if she can come and get me..because yeah it would be pretty stupid to not go..especially if i dont have to drive it..

but yes..feeling a bit better today