why?

so many questions in my head right now..i dont really now why ..yeah im really logical at times haha..

but just kinda thinking of what the why/reasoning is behind the things that we do..just in general you know..why bother cleaning a bedroom that no one will see? or why clean your car? why go to school? obviously that would not be a question to ask a 10 yr old! but just what is the drive behind actions i guess is what im wondering..why did i just spend 2 hours cleaning and what not for no real reason except to do it..except to hope that i did enough of a good job so that it will be acknowledged..for the love of all things good the freakin floors got scrubbed! but it doesnt matter..its just something i did..it will be glossed over forgotten, not noticed..and in a few days it will be as if it never happened..or mommy will find the one thing i forgot to do and make sure to point it out because thats how this works..and still i want an expect it to be different..expect something ..anything to make it worth the time and effort..i set myself up to be disappointed..again and again i get disappointed..and still i wait and hope and wish..and it doesnt change..so why do i do it ? why do i keep letting myself get hurt again and again and again?