im tired..but i think its more than that too..its more than just being tired but the only way to really describe it is to say that im tired..everything just feels really quiet and sort of not there i guess..im just in my own little isolated bubble i guess..
and i need to go back up to nias place and i just dont want to really..but i know i have to because i get to get the rest of my stuff that i shouldnt have left there..and im sure that once im out of the house i will feel more together..but the appeal to stay put and stay inside is slightly overwhelming..urgent .i dont know..i mean its easter and i dont know..just another day to get through i guess..maybe im just upset because last night laura told me i needed to go to church after i told her i wasnt going..and i dont care that she told me to go but its just i dont know weird i guess..my choice and all and im not going and have no intention of going any time in the near future either.but you would think i was going to go to hell or something for not going to church..but i dont like it..hmm maybe its not that i dont like it, its just that i dont believe it..no i dont know why its bothering me so much..
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