-sigh-

 i am feeling pretty sad right now...unsure of everything and just feeling down..i realize that i have been hiding this weekend and i dont know why..i just stayed inside and continually talked myself out of going out ..knowing good and well that i need to go to the store to get some stuff..but no instead i just didnt do much of anything today..some work but not even a lot of that..im a loser..i cant manage to do anything at all..and i dont think i slept to good last night..everything is stupid..everything is bothering me ..i want to be  left alone but at the same time i know thats not a good idea..and im trying to fight the urge to cut..i keep trying to remember if i even actually  still have razors or will i have to break apart a shaver thingy..and so i keep myself trapped in one spot because then i know that i cant do anything if i dont get up..but i dont know...just in a sucky mood today..and its prolly a mix of a lot of things..meds, life, workshop tomorrow has me pretty nervous..getting my work done...everything and nothing ... just maybe dont talk to me ok..  im not in the mood..

not to mention that my crazy eating issues are springing back up...this whole surviving thing takes a lot of work..it really does ...