yep ...gonna need a bigger suitcase!

In less than a month I will be heading to cancun.  Now that my birthday is over and done with the nervousness and fears about this is setting in. ugh.  im suddenly terrified.  Im scared to fly, Im scared to be out of the country. Im scared ill do something stupid.  I realize watching shows like locked up abroad is not a good idea anymore lol..crap crap crap..suddenly its like im checking and rechecking everything. what to pack. what will i need..meds, money, ugh all of it is suddenly incredibly important..and i know that i will have to try my darnest to calm down and deal..but for now my anxiety and fears are running rampant..i should be thrilled to be going you know..its a trip without family..a trip just for me and yvonne..to chill and relax and do whatever and have fun..and im scared?!! talk about walking head first into the unknown!!! ugh..i mean at this point im going..everything is paid for. i have my plane ticket. ive already told my brother that ill be coming and that he will be taking me to the airport. but now its ALL im thinking about..traveling..what is gonna happen..will it be fun..ok deep breaths..i need to calm down before i spazz out and im not even close to my trip being here !!

my clients are having there freak out moments and asking me a million questions about when im leaving..ive reassured them and myself that i am coming back..that its only a week..that its a vacation..my phone will be off..but im sure lil be dropping in on facebook and stuff..maybe not...maybe for just one week i will be utterly focused on myself and that is it..thats all there is to it...

this is for me..no one else you know...so much of my time is spent doing things for other people..and just this once..i want to have fun and not worry and just have a good time...

and yes rynbow will be coming along for the trip.  and yes i am sooooo gonna need a bigger suitcase..the one i bought just isnt gonna cover it lol...

ok some of the anxiety is chilled..deep breaths...gotta remember..this is for fun..this is not for work..this is not for family..this is for me..and well yvonne lol..but now its like down to the last few weeks..and i have to pack and organize and figure out what in the heck im taking and then refigure out what im taking cas ill try to take all of my clothes because i can never make up my mind...so it will take me a few tries to get stuff packed out put away..and planned out....

OMG this is really happening!!

first cancun 
then the world 
lol