today was hard...worked this morning a little bit and it was a waste of time...big time...then my computer flipped out on me and i freaked..like to the point of cutting freaked...i napped...i tried everything i could think of to fix it and nothing worked..and finally my mom called and i told her what was wrong..and as much as i didnt want to ..i borrowed the money from her to get a new charger for my computer ugh...i was so overwhelemd and upset and freaking out...i found my razors..i know where they are at..and i wanted them..i did..sigh
gosh how long has it been ?!?! only a little over 2 months..it feels like so much longer...and this is moving into a time where things are harder todeal with..i am harder to deal with..the holidays...ugh..going home...crap
im going home this upcoming weekend..and im afraid that in the time frame of this week that i wont be able to keep myself safe...that going home gets to me so so much that i just cant control myself..
i didnt want to give in today..and i was to the point of crying i was so upset...still havent done my work but whatever on that one...but i didnt cut
currently watching a fav movie and that has uplifted my mood big time...ill prolly be sleep soon..and then to wake up early in the morning and work on notes before work...joy...another monday ..
right now i just want to make it to tues..and wed...i really really think wed is winning out though..cas i see kathy :) that makes me happier than anything..thinking about it makes me smile like an idiot..i just want to be with her..thats all i want..
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