im sad...depressed...hurt..just i dont know...isolated and empty...lost and broken..and i want to cry..i want to cry so very much for all that i have lost..for all that i was made to believe that was lies..for all the hurt and pain..shame and guilt..fear..and most of all..i want to cry becuase i am trapped in this overwhelming silence that nothing can crack..and now my thoughts leave me feeling so broken ..so hurt..and its the past..but it still hurts me now..the present hurts me..i dont know how to manage living my life..im not even fully aware of my life..and im thinking about the past stuff..the hurts and fears and not having any help..not having a way out..not having anyone to believe me..or to believe in me..and now i am just broken..very very broken and lost and confused..and i try to live and do what im supposed to but fear plauges me..and leaves me trapped and unsure of what to do..
i dont understand why people huhrt children...i dont understand why i was hurt..or why i had the life i did..i dont know anything about my life ..i dont know how to live with myself..and im trying hard not to cut..the urge to just escape and hide from my thoughts is a lot to deal with...im afraid of myself and my thoughts..my head hurts..my body hurts..i am nothing..i dont exisit ..i dont live..and sometimes i dont think i want to live..i want to excape ..go away..run away..i dont knkow what i want
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