rambling rambles

i want to write ..but i really dont know what i want to say..my thoughts are just rolling around in my head a lot right now.im not really focusing on one thing but a lot of little things...

i have a headache again ..which im starting to think is med related..

i did have my work eval yesterday..and although i freaked out horribly about it and panicked and worked myself up into a horrible state..it went ok..nothing that i didnt know ..but the praise was uncomfortable for me...but it was a legit review..just gotta work on getting my notes in on time and ill get away from the whole probation thing..id rather not be on probation again..i finally got off of it sometime last year lol...but well i also got a little raise..so that was pretty cool. ok that was a lot cool and i was proud of myself...i do have to work on the whole being more talkative and open and not being so shy..but again..nothing i have not heard before..so yeah ..it was good..much better than what i had worked up in my mind..i was positive i was going to be fired or something ...yeah irrational extreme..but that is over and done with for another year so i am good..

and i got a part time job ... it is a strange strange set up...but i get to take this workshop thing that i want to take that is to expensive for me to pay for...so in exchange for becoming a part time worker .i will get to do the work shop ..which is super cool...and its for a recovery type business thing..so  i think it will be a good thing..and the workshop thing is in sept..and its 4 days long...so no idea what im going to do about work..essh..but so now i have sort of a part time/volunteer type thing going on..and who knows..maybe it will help me with getting out and talking more and stuff...i do know that i will be working on the newsletter..but ill be doing other stuff too.  so that will be cool.  and its just a few hours a week..so nothing that is super over working me or anything..

and i finally got to talk to my old supervisor this week..and yes i miss her a lot ..and she said that we could prolly get together and do something like lunch in a couple weeks..and again we talked about possible employment opportunities ..and i updated her on all of my stuff..or as much as i could manage to talk about..and got my usual dose of encouragement from her.. crap i miss her :(

but yeah...this week has been ok i think overall..im not sleeping as well..and still adjusting to the new meds..and alll of that..so yeah just going day by day...but i am writing down a daily mood journal type thing so that i will have it with me when i have my next appointment with the pdoc..cas i never remember what it is that i want to tell her..

but yeah..guess thats all i have to ramble about for now ...