Friday, August 24, 2012

need to write ..

im beginning to feel that words are trapped in my head and that i need to write...im not feeling nervous just overwhelmed and a bit scared i think..i dont know i mean things are going ok you know..ive been feeling better ..and aside from just being tired..my mood has been fairly stable...not cutting...eating better this week..going to work mostly..and still im nervous about something..im just feeling nervous about something ..i dont know what it is though...maybe its that mommy is starting to push the issue of me coming home..and i do have to go home to deal with my car stuff..but i really dont want to be at home.to stay...or even visit really..but it has to be done..and then theres the whole issue of the trip in oct.and i know that it is a fun thing but still im nervous..and nervous about the workshop thingy that im taking in a couple weeks..and just ugh..once again i think it is the accumulation of small things and they have been turned into bigger things in my head..and i am just not sure how to deal with it...most of it is just stuff completely out of my control anyway but still i worry..im feeling a bit useless and unmotivated i guess.. i dont know what i want to write about...

so just listening to some relaxing music and laying down for a bit longer..


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