ways to escape

you know i think thats all i really want to do..escape...  i mean the past to days hav been really hard to deal with..and a lot of it had to do with just not feeling good enough..worth enough to put in the effort...friday really did become a very overwhelming day and i ended up coming home early because i felt like i wouldnt be able to control myself..and yesterday i felt sick and not interested in anything at all..a lot of negative thinking..a lot of trouble remembering..etc..and so on...but today i know why i have been feeling sick and im not pleased at all about that little surprise..im gonna have to change the birth control im on i think...this one just is not doing what it is supposed to do..or else its not high enough or something...but whatever will deal with it...yuck...

didnt sleep so great last night..woke up around 2 am and was up for a little bit before falling back to sleep..and still i ended up  getting up around 7...

actually am feeling a bit better today though...still have a slight headache but i have more interest in doing things..and so went to the store a bit ago to pick up some things..and tomorrow someone is coming to help me with cleaning my house cas i just cant seem to maanage it..so im working..or trying to work on getting laundry done today..and well the usual nonesense with work stuff...my goal is to get everything in this week on time...ALL of it...

but i also have 2 therapy sessions and two doc appointments this up coming week...see the pdoc to and will have to talk to her about my meds..and then two days with t's and well gee that should have me feeling just peachy..

but i think im starting to fall asleep so i think ill find something boring to watch on tv and nap for a little while.. thats the plan