Saturday, April 14, 2012

a great couple of days :) and other stuff

so my sister is visiting and i decided to take her to to luray to see the caverns..she had a picture contest that she wanted to do and well she has to take nature themed pictures..so i figured the caverns would be an awesome trip and well i really wanted to see the caverns too...so i surprised her and told her that i had a plan set up for this weekend and we would be going out of town...so she was game and we left on friday to head up to luray va..we left in the afternoon and made pretty good time..it was only like a 2 hr drive..so easy...we got there checked into the hotel and then kinda worked on figuring out what to do..so we were looking over the brochures of attractions in the area and decided to go and do the garden maze..it looked like a lot of fun..and it was an actual maze! like you walk in and there are paths going every which way..it was really cool but at first it was a little frustrating because its like you have this quest to complete and you have to find the 4 stations...well darn who know that finding those stations would take so long and there was a lot of back tracking and finding dead ends..and locked doors..and it was like omg are you kidding me?! so i had to work on calming down and just like enjoying it for what it was..and it was pretty cool finding the stations..like really cool..and we completed the whole thing and actually made it out of the maze in one piece lol..and so we decided that it was late and we should go back to the hotel and chill until tomorrow..well that turned into going through downtown and just looking around...we ended up having dinner and this really REALLY tiny seafood rest..and it was ridiculously expensive but really good..and it was like 5 tables in there!! an odd little place but filling..so yeah..it was cool...finally after dinner we go back to the hotel and actually do chill out ...

today..we got up and kinda worked on planning out the day.  the original plan was to just see the luray caverns..but then i was looking through the brochures and ended up looking more indepth at the one that advertised the Natural Bridge..there was so much more to do there and we would still see caverns...so after we talked about it..we decided to do breakfast and drive up to see the natural bridge, and the butterfly garden, and the  caverns, and the bridge of course and there were 2 museums..all for only $28! so we decided to do that one and get more options of things to do...we did breakfast..and then completed the drive...and omg it was the coolest thing ever!!

The Natural Bridge was huge!! and it was set up like a nature trail and you walked through to the waterfall and it was a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng walk..but we finished the whole thing and made it to the waterfall..and we saw the little village..the creeks..the caves..the butterfly garden..the toy museum, we didnt see the wax museum but we did go to the caverns too...so much walking!!!! but it was such a nice day you know..not hot..not cold..and most definitely not raining!! it was breezy and just nice.. so we walked and walked and walked some more...took lots of pictures with my sister..took lots of pictures of just nature and stuff..its been a long time since we have been hiking or walking and stuff like today..i actually miss it you know...a few summers ago i was doing 4 day hikes with different bunches of 'special' children..the whole nine yards..hiking, backpacks..carrying the food and supplies..hiking through the rain, and tantrums, and fights, and the ever so questionable melty cheese after its been in backpacks for 3 days lol..so gross but oh so good at the same time!!! and of course the most fun was making the campfires..and drinking water with bleach in it because of having to water out of the creeks and everything...i mean i am by far not nature girl at all..and being dirty and sweaty irritates me horribly..but gosh darn i do miss it ..a lot more than i thought it was possible to miss..im not the fastest walker, and i complained when i first started, and i hated carrying the backpacks, and the bugs and the dirt..yet i did it..over and over and over again i did it...it was like a small personal achievement each time you know..like yes i did it..i finished the hike..all 4 days..and with all the kids no less lol..so it was cool today..being up in the mountains..being able to relax and just feel at peace for a little while..seeing the caverns on the other hand was a little unnerving..because we were litteratlly like 356some feet underground!! the formations were awesome..they were..the small spaces and the people were a bit overwhelming .. and the slippery ground and steps and well the whole thing made me a bit nervous..im not sorry i did it..but yeah..it was a little creepy..i really just wanted to see a bat :) but didnt see a real one...but did complete that too..and the caverns tour was way more tiring than the nature trail and bridge thing..like i was sooooo tired and worn out after the caverns..but yep got lots of pictures..and it was a really nice trip .. im super glad we did it..it was good to get away from things for a little while..no stress..no nothing..just being up there and able to enjoy it for what it was ..and spending time with my sister was cool too...it was :)

it did suck though that i started to feel sick on the way home this evening...like i think i had a massive sugar drop or something because i felt awful..headache, dizzy, thirsty..so so so very thirsty..finally told my sister i was feeling sick and she started to freak and it was just getting worse you know..i stopped and got a drink and had some chips..and i started to feel a little better..but then just as fast i started to feel sick and queasy and tired..and just in general a bit zoned out..which freaked my sister out even more ..but we got dinner and made it home safely..so it was good. it is good. :) my body hurts so so so much though..i know im gonna be stiff and sore tomorrow..yep..really stiff and sore tomorrow..

i will post pictures..but first i need to write about a couple other things..

mommy is mad at me and is not calling me..ever since she found out that we planned a trip and didnt tell her..why should i tell her ?? we didnt leave the state..we were freaking two hours away..3 at the most you know..it was not a huge massive trip..i didnt ask for money..i didnt ask her for anything so why did i need to tell her anything..so she called me friday and got pissed off at me when i mentioned going out of town and then didnt give her a lot of details..so she hangs up with me ..and immediately calls nia..and it was like really ?!?! ugh..so yeah she hasnt called me since..she calls nia and asks questions about me..but hasnt called me..and it upsets me..because i know she will reach the point where she will call me..and we will have a conversation about how awful i am and how much she cares and blah blah blah..i am 28 years old ..and i still need permission to freakin go someplace ?!!?!? what the hell..ugh..so i am mad..i am..and at the same time im feeling guilty..but im not backing down..not on this..i dont need her permission..i dont..and im not going to ask for it..

lots of money issues going on right now..ugh..frustrating too..and so i will not be able to do the retreat..so ill let them know that tomorrow at church..bills cant be paid and what not..so just really trying to manage you know..

i ended up calling the pastors wife today..i think i was just wanting some support..some caring..something..i wanted something..and she actally talked to me..i called her first and hung up before she answered...but then i called her again and she answered and we talked for a bit..she listened..gave advice..was super duper positive..she told me she loved me..and she asked me to call her back a little bit later to let her know if i had actually gotten out of the house and how i was doing..and so i called her back and just touched base with her you know and let her know that i was ok...she told me that she was out of town and would not be in church tomorrow and that did make me sad...i feel like i need to see her..i need to know that she is not upset with me..that shes not afraid of me..and she wont be there :( and that makes me really sad..and upset..im trying hard to manage you know..but i am scared ..like i just need her here..i need her to be reachable..i just need her...

and to make things better im not freaking sleeping...bad dreams..i wake up all night..i take my meds and still im waking up ..ugh i dont like this at all..i dont like the bad dreams either :(

so i will upload pictures next :) and then meds and hopefully bed! 

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