thoughtful

work is work..i never want to forget last night though..we had so much fun playing in the dining hall during group..i was kicked out of group..i threw my shoe at jim and then took his shoes and hid them outside.a couple of the kids decided to try and tickle me..we talked about nothing and kept getting off topic..and group took about 45 minutes lol..but it was one of those nights that was just a lot of fun and laughs and smiles..and i swear today they were sad to see us go and i never thought that would happen..because for a while all i heard was how good the other counselors were and how much they wanted them..and sometime in the last couple months that has changed..somehow we have worked out a relationship with all of the kids in my group i enjoy being with them..i know where the boundary is between work and fun and they know it..its a bit weird i guess looking at it now..when again the parents are saying they can see the differences in there kids..linda said we are doing a good job but i wonder what what the motive is behind it..i cant forget that all ive been told this semester is what ive done wrong and it was a lot of stuff and then just out of nowhere its oh and by the way you are doing great with the kids...and after all the stuff with jim im not sure what i think..but that aside the two of us were talking last night and he told me that the kids are responding to us because we treat them as parents .. and not as peers like the other counselors..and i really had never thought about that before..i knew there was something about the way the other counselors did things that i didnt like and i thought they were trying to buy there affections and yes it hurt when the kids all went to them for everything ..but its not like that anymore..they respond to us and they have fun with us..even though we are the ones making them clean and do things by the book..even though we have all the groups and the dorky issues and staying in group for days..we treat them as ppl and we give them respect and trust and when they lose it they have to earn it back...i dont want to wim there affections ..and maybe that is the whole thing..i dont want to have to win them by being better than the other counselors or giving the kids what they want..i want them to get something out of the program i really do...and i think most of them have..some are talking about coming back for various reasons and that makes me sad because i know i wont be there..and its times like last night that makes me want to stay but i dont want to stay...i dont like that they are refusing the kids who need the program the most and not letting them come back..that i really dont like at all..

hmm all that aside..i really enjoyed the last few days of work...and im really excited about going to the cumberland islands on sunday..

i really hate how things are changing..mommy is dead set on going out of town for new years and that is all fine and dandy but its messing up my plans for moving..so now im moving in the middle of december and i really have less than a week to pack when i add up all the days...talk about pressure