i keep fighting the urge to just go and hide out or something..i came to work and its not the same anymore ..i dont want to have fun..it feels like we cant have fun anymore and everything has to be done by the book..i had to go to church today with them and it sucked because it was a surprise and i wasnt expecting it..i didnt want to go but jim just flat out refused to go inside and all that was left was me because the kids cant really go in by themselves..i dont mind going but i had already asked not to go back to that particular church and its like once again we werent listened to and so i ended up back in the same church again..its not fair that the kids and parents are promised that they will have the option to go to church without asking first if we want to take them..what about our religion or lack there of?? doesnt that count for something?? i told one of my kids that i had no preference when it came to religion and i really dont and i dont consider that the wrong thing to tell him but that was the nicest way i could figure out how to say i dont care much for religion..

hmm so im doing my job and it will be by the book to the max..and ill have till dec 14 to figure the rest of it out..i guess sooner than that if we have to pack and move and everything..

i had the chance to talk to one of my kids from last semester today...he is one of the returners and he was having a melt down kinda day..yelling and cursing at everyone and i happened to volunteer to go and talk to him because i wasnt doing anything else right then..i asked him to stop yelling at me and he did..he came and sat down with me and talked and figured what he needed to do and who he needed to apologize to..everything we worked so hard to get him to do last semester he is doing now and we had a part in that ...its so odd seeing the returners and how much they improved from when we had them last semester and knowing on some level we are responsible for those changes..we are the ones well one of the four who drilled it into them last semester and its you know 6 months later and we are seeing the results now..i told him i was proud of how much he improved and how i hoped he would work on his stuff now so he could go back to his regular school in the spring..we talked about last semester and some of the trips..we talked about his behaviors and ways to improve and he listened..he listened without yelling or cursing at me..he apologized and did what i asked him to do..it was so shocking..and as i sat there with him for an hour i realized how much i had missed talking to him..both when he was upset and when he wasnt..i didnt think i would miss that at all