i woke up at 3:30am...yet again... im so sleepy..i want to go to sleep..instead i actually got up and made an attempt to clean the kitchen and the bathroom and take the trash out...more than ive done in a couple days...
im not feeling as badly as i was yesterday..still pretty down though...im not going to do anything to hurt myself...not today...today..well later this afternoon im going over to sarahs for a couple days ... maybe juts having company will be good..and i like her company..and i just want to be held a little bit..because i am feeling very alone .. lost...empty...
my body hurts...stress is a pain in the ass...i forget sometimes that when i get really stressed it starts to come out in other ways...so physically im hurting..i havent done anything at all to make my side hurt again...maybe done some stuff that would make other parts sore.heh. but yeah .. gotta keep reminding myself to not hold in the stress and tension..because it is just building up...but right now im still to close to cutting to really let go of anything...oh well for me..
have to go to work in like 3 hours for a bit ... not really feeling like it but guess i have to go...
will be spending my free time for the next three days doing notes anyway..so yeah..fun times ...
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