maybe ill just record my breakdown in writing...maybe it will make me famous...if im lucky..maybe ill just be ignored and forgotten..quietly slip away and no one will ever find me ...
this month is barely started and already i want to skip it..let it go by..do something, anything to just ignore the days and let them pass..
i have to be careful when im on the phone with mommy..no sadness allowed..nothing but planning and packing and doing what im told is allowed..
doing what im told..and so ayes i kept my cool while i talked to her..explained what i was going to do and planning and all of that...
and still im sitting here crying and trying to figure out what in the hell to do...finally managed to get the apartment place on the phone this morning...the end of january...thats what im looking at ..not the beginning..not the middle..but the end..what the hell am i supposed to do..not that its important to anyone else i guess..i have to find some place for taji and bounce to stay..and for them to be safe and cared for... me i dont care..
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