im tired

im really tired tonight...like mind numbing tired..today has been the first day in a while that i have been up and out of the house all day long..and worrying about taji and the vet stuff wore on me a bit today..i know she is going to not be herself tonight..but i do miss her getting into everything..but im hoping that things will go fine..i know she will be ok .. and i think this weekend i will be giving bounce a bath..she is a bit smelly..and since she is unable to truly clean herself..the vet said i could use babywipes to help her with that...so i got some today..but i do want to give her a good scrubadubdub lol..yeah ill see if i make it out of that little predicament alive!

the vet today really broke the bank..and i know overall that ill manage ..but its a bit nerve wrecking at the same time..and the stress is a bit harder to deal with..im trying hard to remain as calm as i can..and i just have to keep reminding myself that things will work out..i hope! so trying to just take things a day at a time for now...and see what happens..and i also need to go and get some of my meds filled..and thats more money that i dont have...yessh..so yeah trying to be calm about things...

work was tiring today...one no show..and one incredibly long session..and i think the stress of trying to get all the way back across town to pick up taji before the vet closed this evening amped up my stress levels some too...but i made it and got all of that stuff taken care of at least..but well yes..it was just tiring today..and i really just want to go to sleep..but i dont want to take my night meds because i have to get up earlyish tomorrow so that i can finish my last bit of late paperwork and get it turned in..its been hanging over my head all darn week..and i need to do it and get it in..like yesterday..ugh..

and im trying to plan for sunday..and sorta trying to plan for saturday too..maybe ill go and clean my car if it is a nice day..i dont know..i  guess ill see how i feel..

my eating has been fairly awful the past few days...a lot of fast food and junk food and candy..trying to get it back under control ..but i just want my stupid meds back..and i dont know how to get them..and its frustrating me...i just needed them for maybe 2 more months..and i would have been good...but i dont have them and so i cant take them and so my focus is off ..and yeah..blah..

goodness this has turned into a bit of a ramble...

hmm do i have anything positive to say ??!! i mean im not completely utterly depressed right now..im just sorta blahish...not great..not horrible..just sorta here...and im feeling hot and annoyed by the warm weather..ugh..ok well yeah

oh saw this quote this morning and like it a lot ...

When you find yourself cocooned in isolation and despair and cannot find your way to the light, remember: This is the place where caterpillars go, in order to grow their wings. ~ Sandra Kring