cant connect tonight

i know i have really struggled the past few weeks..and tonight i was thinking about it and cant connect with any of what went on..i feel fine now..i dont see or even really remember how bad things were like 4 days ago..i dont understand..i keep thinking about what t said..about how she is very glad im back to work and that we dodged a bullet. she cant have been talking about me or anything i would have done?! i would never actually kill myself or try or anything..i dont want to cut or hurt or do anything like that. im fine..im in control..i dont know what she is talking about