power and control

for some reason ive been stuck on ages again lately...keep wondering where the blame is supposed to be placed when the ages are incredibly close together and one is being hurt..maybe both were hurt i dont know..and i asked my questions in a couple places and eventually the subject got around to who had power and control and who didnt...wasnt really based on age either..and i rarely give power or control much thought because im used to doing what im told regardless..but in a way thats me giving up what little control i may have over something..and now ive been thinking a lot about how that plays into things and its odd because it really has nothing to do with age or size or gender or any of the other obvious deciding factors..because when i think about it i go to the most obvious thing ..someone had to be older and so someone had to be able to say stop or something..but that may not a completely accurate assumption..because if one person is being forced i guess to do something they dont want to do then one of the two had to know to stop fighting..or somewhere along the line leading up to everything someone learned to not say no inorder to make things easier and look where it got them..none of it really makes sense though..and im not even sure what im looking for anymore