social work issue

whille first my apartment has been emptied and it is surprising at how little time it took to get it done once they were here..a bit scary also ...but its done with for now and all i have to do is go through the last bit of stuff and throw away bunches of things..but the biggest part is over and done with and on the way to storage at home..and the whole thing just makes me feel empty some how...i look around at my almost empty apartment and it makes me sad but i dont know why..maybe now that things are gone have to come to terms with actually moving because its happening regardless..dont know

but anyway..i think i have a problem well more than usual lol..and i figure if i think it out then eventually ill find a way to get it done and be ok with it...i was talking to mommy and wayne about the various things going on in the world of work..and they have gotten to the conclusion that the kids are being neglected in ways and abused because of them not being fed enough and all that things going on..and im not sure what i think about that..and if it makes a difference that im a social worker or not..because no i dont like whats going on at all and i hate that the kids have to deal with all of it and not be heard..but by my taking it with them make me be just as bad? like do i have a hand in it someway because somehow im letting it happen? i dont know..yes im complained and done little things to make it easier for my group..but is that enough? should i have done something more? should i have made a bigger fuss? its all so confusing because its my job well it was my job and my first priority is the kids and they know i dont agree with the food situation or the way they arent listened to or the fact that we are told not to get the kids opinions on anything..i dont see how that teaches them anything and i go out of my way sometimes to listen and hear what they are saying..and sometimes i just listen and dont really care one way or another because of other stuff going on and it then becomes just a job until its time to go off..but even then i still care and what them to be safe and happy and all that ... and if the parents really knew what was going on they would not be pleased at all..and i guess its just hard to know when im overstepping my boundaries in trying to be heard in the whole mess..should i tell the parents..should i tell the head office..should i say anything beyond on office on campus..but i dont trust jon or linda anymore and i dont want to talk to them much if i can help it but does it count as going behind there backs if we sent a letter to the head office without telling them first ...would that be a bad thing and would i be stirring up trouble? i look at the whole thing and i dont like it but i still dont want to cause any trouble and i think thats where my biggest problem is..because i know its not a real matter of whether i will be in trouble because its not like they are going to fire me..heck im already not coming back..but i want them to know what is was like and i want to do it in a way that im comfortable with because otherwise it just wont work...and i dont know what im comfortable with just yet..i had played with the idea of writing linda a letter and letting her know exactly why it was i was leaving...and even that idea i had played with and discarded a million times but now i think i will do that and after im done with that letter ill figure out what else i want to do...and im hoping linda will hear me..and because i get so flustered and forgetful when im talking face to face its better to do a letter..but does that count as being a cop out if i send a letter instead of talking one on one with her..or is it a matter of comfort for me..because im scared..i really am because ive never done anything like this but i like the program and i hate how its being run and it will fail soon if some serious changes arent made..kids depend on a place like this and i dont want it to fail..i really dont but i wont stay and be treated like crap either and not be listened too...so it is a huge toss up and i have no idea what im going to do