stressing

ive been up since 5ish freaking out about money and bills and whether or not im trusting linda to keep her word about sending inthe info for my paycheck..i tried not to be a pain about asking the past few days but i wanted to know and she told me that she just had to send something else to the person who does the checks and i should get mine..but stupid me forgot to ask when i would be getting it..so basically i dont know when or if im actually getting it and so im stuck waiting until tuesday before i can even ask again and if i dont have it by tuesday then ill be stuck anyway and ill have to borrow my rent once again from mommy to pay it and then give it back once im paid..i keep thinking and thinking and thinking of a way to make it all work out and i cant .. im so freaked out..i couldnt get my head to quiet down at all and i gave up on sleep after just lying there and thinking about a million things i need to do...i dont know what i should do and im just stuck waiting for the most part...ended up cutting early this morning..and it got me to stop freaking so much..but im still really worried..and i wasnt supposed to cut..now i have to start over my invisible count of how hard i was trying..but since i gave in so easily then i must not have been trying that hard..almost two months down the drain..stupid stupid me..i better go and clean up and then run out to pay yet another bill..i hate money