sigh

and it only took all morning and into the afternoon but im done and now i have to head out to go see henry and eventually mommy..and as i sit here completely ready to go all i want to do is cry..like go back to bed and cry for a couple days and then juts go to work..but i cant..i have to go to henrys school and be happy and great for the rest of the weekend...i think its a bit odd that when i was talking to jenny yesterday and mentioned i was going to be around mommy that almost always im suicidal..kinda stupid i guess..darn me for actually getting everything i needed to get done done..and now i have no more excuses..i was chatting with someone on and off while i was cleaning and it helped me get things done..also listening to music distracted me enough so that i stayed on task and actually got it done...now all thats left is to leave and im dreading walking out of the door...except i have too..and it just sucks