finally gave in and pulled out the paint to kinda calm myself down because i have been on edge a lot today..inbetween feeling miserable and sorry for myself..i think my allergies are acting up again too..i dont know..its just been a down day..im feeling more awake now that it is time for me to go to bed! yea i work kinda backwards...really been wanting to cut the past couple days..cant figure it out..ive been suckered into going to henrys school for family weekend on friday and staying until sunday morning...hopefully ill be able to come home saturday night i dont know..otherwise ill have to wake up at like 4am to make it to work on time...but im more nervous about being around mommy for the weekend..same old stuff i guess..not to mention she never once came to anything i did in college except my graduation..but thats another story...so only another day and a half of utterly nothing before i have to rejoin the world of the living and stop hiding out in my apartment driving myself crazy..oh well guess ill stop complaining now
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